I Wouldn't, I Couldn't

10 "Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
 11 After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities." (Isa. 53:10-11 NIV)

When I was at the Chinese church in Oregon, I was told a story that portrayed a redemptive act of father and son. 

There once were two warring families that gathered together for a great day of battle. And as sometimes happens (David and Goliath), the two kings agreed to send a representative to perform a great feat of courage. The two kings agreed to send their only sons. The two sons were to swim out into the middle of a lake and go under water. The first to rise for a breath would lose and their family would be slaves to the other. So the boys swam out and went under. Seconds became minutes. Minutes seemed to be hours. One of the boys eventually came up for air. Gasping, struggling, he swam to the shore to the embarrassment of his father and to the enslavement of his people. A loud cheer waved through the other side. The gloating smile of the victorious king stretched from ear to ear. But the water remained still and silent. Seconds became minutes. Minutes seemed to be hours. The other son, for the love of his father, for the love of his people, had gone down to the bottom and tied his clothing to a sunken tree root. The son had willingly drowned. 

It is very difficult for me to understand the love of Jesus for me. I don't understand how a person that I didn't know, who was perfect in every way, would even consider giving his life for me. "God demonstrated his love for me in that while I was a sinner Christ died for me" (Romans 5:8). Easy to memorize. Horrible for me to consider. 

But even more difficult is the idea of a father doing that to his own child - sending that child to a horrific death for others who rejected and despised him. There was no coming up for air. There was only death. To try and understand how a good Father would willfully crush his own Son, to cause him to suffer...I can't. I wouldn't. I couldn't. He did. 

The only way that this makes sense is to see the hope that is attached to his son's suffering. And by the way, don't jump to the selfish conclusion that this is about you. It's about Jesus. Although his life is cut short, although he will never marry or have children of his own, he will have offspring and more than you can count. The will of the Lord will prosper in his hand. He will see the light of life again because the Father will not let him rot in the grave. He will justify many and be the one who receives praise and glory and honor for bearing the sins of us all. 

Do I understand? I can't. All I know for certain is that I wouldn't. I couldn't. He did. 

Let us remember the sacrifice of both Father and Son tonight as we go on this Lenten journey together.