Be Still

Psalm 46:10a says, "Be still and know that I am God."

A reflection in three parts:  Part 1

Ever since I came back from my last teaching opportunity with Grace Seminary I have been struggling with being still. It has been the reason, or at least I would like it to be the reason for why I have not posted since then. 

March came in like a lion - not the weather but ministry. An all church Seder Supper, Resurrection Sunday, a new English service...I have been busy. But I have been wrestless in my spirit for some reason. Probably worse than I have ever been in my spiritual life. 

I am so grateful that I don't have a schedule that produces ulcers and stress induced heart attacks. Unfortunately that was called "my thirties." I now have time to do all those things that I have dreamed about doing, e.g. reading, writing, praying, planning, etc... All good things. All good things that I am presently doing. But in the midst of these things I find a spirit that yearns for something more. I know that this answer will not be found solely in the external things of life. That would be easy. 

I know that the vast majority of this is within. It is as John of Damascus wrote, "the dark night of the soul." Unfortunately this is not exactly true for I have way too much light at present to be found in such a disparaging place. 

I have found solace in the words of this particular verse - "Be still." In the strict context I know that it has to do with the cessation of war and God's supremacy among the nations, but it is a war that I am dealing with and so I find it appropriate. 

What does it mean to "be still"?  If I told my kids this when they were younger it would mean, "Stop squirming; stop moving around." I get the distinct impression that God is saying the same thing to this kid. In the midst of squirming we become distracted and often miss the important things around us. In the midst of squirming we also irritate those around us. You should pray for my wife. 

Perhaps looking at some other Scriptures would help clarify this command. 

Exodus 14:14, "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." 

It tells me that there is a war going on - a war that brings conflict, pain, injury, sorrow, grief, uncertainty. 

It also tells me that I'm not alone and more than that - I don't need to take up arms for the LORD is fighting on my behalf. 

There is a sense of relief in knowing that there is a sure victory over my enemy. 

It is also a criticism.  I will lose if...when...I believe it is my fight.  It is a passive victory which is perhaps the hardest for prideful men like myself to acquire. 

The battle is the LORD's because He will get the glory not me. The battle is the LORD's because there will only be one hero in this divine narrative. Be still. 

Finding the discarded Law of Moses, Ezra the priest began to read and the people began to grieve understanding how far they had moved away from the things of the Lord. 

Nehemiah 8:11, "The Levites calmed all the people saying, 'Be still, for this is a sacred day.  Do not grieve." 

This verse tells me to be calm. In the midst of revelation, where the divine plan of God is revealed, there is no need for agitation. There is no need of second guessing or "what-ifs." 

I think this leads into part two of this verse, "and know..." so I'll not chase that dragon until I need to slay it. Just a heads up...I think we live in the middle of knowing and not knowing, obeying and seeking, trusting and hoping. Perhaps this is the squirmy part after all. 

Psalm 37:7a, "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him..."

"Being still"is connected to "waiting patiently for something...for him." 

Perhaps this is the greatest lesson about "being still." I am waiting for something. And I will continue to wait for something until I figure out that it isn't a something after all but a someone. When that someone shows up the something will be cared for and probably beyond my expectations. 

For this old farm kid who is accustomed to hard work and a clear goal it is one of the most difficult things that I have had to do. I need to know what is next. Idleness is the death of me just as busyness without direction will kill me. 

I am so blessed. I am blessed with a great wife and family. I am blessed with good health. I am blessed with a fairly intelligent mind. I love what I do for a living and am so privilege to do it with people who appreciate it. 

An outsider would surely tell me to "Shut up" and "be thankful." If they only knew that I have shut up and I am thankful. But that doesn't fix the spiritual agitation that calls for something deeper, something sweeter, that will, in the end, make all those above blessings even richer. 

So for now I will seek and pray that I might understand what it means to let the LORD do the fighting, to be calm, to wait patiently for...Him, and to resist the temptation to wait for it. I will "be....." I won't lie...its just not there yet.

"There is a place of quiet rest, near to the heart of God, 
A place where sin cannot molest, near to the heart of God. 
O Jesus, blest Redeemer, sent from the heart of God, 
Hold me, I wait before Thee, near to the heart of God. 

There is a place of full release, near to the heart of God. 
A place where all is joy and sweet, near to the heart of God. 
O Jesus, blest Redeemer, sent from the heart of God. 
Hold me, I wait before Thee, near to the heart of God."


  

Weapons of Mass Distraction

I wish I could take credit for the title of this posting but alas, it belongs to an anonymous scholar. 

I was watching a lecture series entitled, "What Matters," by Oxford scholar, Os Guinness, and he mentioned the quote. 

At one point an Oxford student was interviewed and asked, "What lies at the end of life?  How will you know if you've accomplished your purpose?  Her answer was, "I don't know. I guess if I have a lot of good stories."

Most of the students said that they really didn't have time to think about life's purpose in the long term.  Everything was focused on getting through school and moving on to a future career (whatever that may be). 

Living "in the moment" is an understandable answer, especially when one is consumed with studies and deadlines. But one must be prepared for the long view if one wants to be successful at fulfilling a life of purpose.

Honestly, there will always be an "in the moment." Your new job will consume you, email, Facebook, or Twitter. Something will distract from the larger purpose of life.  

A life of purpose is not some random or personally planned out path. It is the desire of God for your life. It matters not what subject matter one desires to study. The greater question is, "Can I glorify God in this, contribute to the betterment of humanity, and propel forward the ultimate mission of God, i.e. the reconciliation of all things toward God?

It is life with a greater purpose; a life with divine motive. 

The greatest hindrances to those objectives are the "weapons of mass distraction." The chief culprit being, "busyness."  

Someone said that "busyness" is either the result of pride or an unreasonable, unorganized employer. There is probably a bit of truth in both. Either way busyness will keep us from stopping and asking the "why, "what," or the "who" questions. "Why am I here?" "What am I supposed to be doing with my life?" "Who am I ultimately accountable to?" 

"Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile" is not the way to go through life. I don't want to "hope" by chance I fulfill my purpose; I want to know that I am fulfilling my purpose. 

And yet, here I am, 52 years of age, still asking those questions. Perhaps that's the divine intent. Every year I should find the time in my busy schedule to be asking those questions of purpose for divine alignment. 

After all, I don't want to end my life with nothing more than a bunch of good stories. 

I want GREAT stories... 

Near Death Real LIfe

I had the privilege of teaching in Thailand last week. Unfortunately with my schedule I didn't have a lot of time to site see. But a dear brother picked me up after class on Friday and took me out to see a few things. 

When I arrived the first thing I thought about was how chaotic things were. Cars everywhere. Motorcycles and scooters everywhere. Very few traffic lights. I watched the cyclists weaving in and out of traffic from the safety of my shuttle van each morning and evening. Insane. 

So imagine my surprise when my dear brother picked me up...yes...on a scooter. Below is a sample of the controlled choas. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js4G2lunSEI  [Warning:  If you get motion sickness easy, please do not watch this without a bucket]

All I could think of initially was that Deb will kill me if I get killed. But the life insurance was paid up and I'm saved, so...let's go. 

There is a difference between being in the midst of something and being in something. When I was in the safety of a van I was sheltered from the reality of the chaos. But on a scooter the reality becomes apparent very quickly. I was hoping to survive the ride without breaking my kneecaps on someone's bumper or losing my shoulders to any of a hundred rear-view mirrors that we blazed by. 

Perhaps it was the adrenaline but it was the first time I felt really connected to something in a long time. I wasn't looking at the culture from inside the safety of a glass window or studying it in some book. I was doing real life with real people in their culture. I was part of something and not just an observer. 

I'm sure that there is a spiritual lesson in this somewhere but I've yet to flesh it out. Perhaps its just this: live real life. 

A Non-practicing Liar

I just received a new E-issue of World Magazine today and thought that I would comment on an article regarding a young woman who was recently hired at Wheaton College in Illinois. Wheaton is a Christian college historically connected to martyr Jim Elliot and his wife, Elizabeth, as well as Billy Graham. It is a school that truly seeks to educate the next generation of spiritual servants being sent into our dying world. 

Julie Rodgers was hired to provide spiritual care for students. Not surprising in some ways:  She has a master's degree in English, has mentored inner-city youth, and speaks at Christian churches and conferences. One surprise: She openly identifies as homosexual and yet sees homosexual behavior as sin. Rodgers, though, is a "gay celibate Christian" - someone who identifies as homosexual but does not act on her same-sex desires because she also believes such behavior is sinful. 

Theologically, I am in line with what she says. Regarding homosexuality, I think we can say this about any sin that consumes us. I may feel a certain sinful way and God may not take that particular desire away for whatever reason but by my not acting or mentally dwelling upon it, it allows God's grace and mercy to work. Do we not all have a "sin that so easily entangles us" (Heb. 12.1)? One where we cry out, "How long O LORD must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?  How long O LORD will my enemy triumph over me?" (Ps. 13:2-3). 

The only issue that I have with this position is found in 1 Cor. 6:11. As a follower of Christ my sin does not define who I am. It does not mean that I don't struggle with sin, but that theologically, it is covered, forgiven, and forgotten as far as the east is from the west. So why advertise? In the above article, this is like saying I am a non-practicing adulterous Christian or a non-practicing lying Christian or ... put whatever sin you'd like in the non- column. I am a forgiven and righteous person because of the blood of Christ. That is who I am. I try and seek with all my heart to say "no" to ungodliness because of this wonderful gift of grace. And...I have to say "no" daily because that is how often I struggle, if not with one sin, then another that is revealed by the Holy Spirit. I'm sure that every follower of Jesus would have to admit to the same to some degree. I just choose not to be defined by the sin but by the Savior. 

I also believe in the healing and transformative power of Jesus that allow us to live victoriously over sin. I believe as the early Church Fathers that we should press on toward being "perfect" and "holy" through the transformative work of the Holy Spirit. 

Why is it then that I still struggle with particular sins? Could it be that they are the last vestiges of self, the spiritual holdouts to being fully devoted to Jesus? Could it be my "Linus blanket," something secure, something to keep me from being hurt or disappointed? Something that leaves me in control of my needs and not Jesus? Sometimes the thorn is left in the side as a way of keeping us humble and on our knees before a merciful God. This is a question for another day, another post... 

Unfortunately, we have once again elevated one sin over another in our unbiblical hierarchy of ungodliness. I guess it makes us feel better about our own particular low level sin. 

I wonder if World magazine will do a follow-up on a non-practicing gluttonous Christian who was just hired some place?  

It Only Takes a Spark

A big part of my doctoral studies focused on the fourteenth century Bishop of Thessaloniki, St. Gregory Palamas.  As I continue to study his work as part of my devoted time to God, he brought up something that refreshed my spirit. 

St. Gregory was consumed with getting people to see that they had a larger mission in this world than just surviving and...in just being a "good" Christian. He was adamant that the Scriptures taught that God became man so that man could become "god." This isn't some pantheistic heresy. Actually the statement just made came from Athanasius, the great defender of the faith in the fourth century. 

St. Gregory believed that the image of God in man was not just a wishful type of thinking but a desired reality. He desired men and women to be fully surrendered to God in such a way that they would become "like" God. No created thing can ever become God, that is, His essence, or who He is by nature, but we can become like Him in that we are brought into his divine community through the Holy Spirit. 

O.k....enough of the deep theology....here is what caught my attention today.  "Even the smallest portion of an essence possesses all that essence's powers.  Thus a spark is both brilliant and illuminating, it melts and burns whatever comes close to it, it is self-moving by nature and rises upwards and, in brief, it is whatever fire is. Similarly, a drop of water possesses every quality that water has...a nugget possesses all that the metal itself possesses." 

If we are made to be in the true image and likeness of God, then we possess certain qualities and powers that God has. We are still limited as created beings but there should be so much more to our life than maintaining. Each of us is a spark representing the fire. Each of us is a drop of water taken from a vast, incomprehensible ocean. As the world looks at us as followers of Jesus they should see the fire; they should see the ocean. It dwells within us. 

Perhaps this struck me so deeply today because I am working on the Candle Lighting service for our Christmas Eve celebration. As each candle is lit and we hold our small and insignificant fire in our hands, it shouldn't stay insignificant. Together, as the darkened room begins to warmly glow and "Silent Night" softy sung, we need to remember that in our small effort to shine we are the image and likeness of God. And...we shine more brilliantly when we shine together. 

As a tribute to the 1970's I will now invite you to sing, "Pass It On."  When singing please make sure you do the echo. It will bring back fond memories of church camp and being eaten alive by mosquitoes out in the woods.  Oh...where have all the good songs gone...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tadZ8nCLBsI

What if...

Good intentions are simply that.  In my quest to be consistent on my blogging I have found ministry priorities and distractions a bit problematic. So as I continue to pursue Andrew Murray's work I have had to humbly set it aside for a new doctoral assignment (teaching this time) on missions which was actually at the heart of Murray himself. Hopefully Murray will not be on the shelf for long.

I came across this statement from Samuel Balentine that stirred my soul this week. 

“What if we do not exercise our God-given responsibility as a community of faith?  What if we do not pray to keep ourselves and our world in God?  What if we do not pray and fight to keep God in the world?  I submit that if we do not, either the church will become a den of robbers where thieves congregate to count their loot and hide out from God, or it will become a shining, splendid edifice, pointing to the heavens but counting for nothing on earth.  In either case, God is anguished and the world is impoverished.” 

The phrase that caught my attention was, "fight to keep God in the world."  I never really thought about this before but as I watched Bill Nye the Science Guy trash Christianity and Richard Dawkins once again call us foolish for such primitive needs, I can't help but think that the world system's goal is to push God completely out. But this actually goes against the goal of Satan himself. For one day he will desire to be called "God." Atheism is not in keeping with  Satanism but merely removes a potential enemy, a potential convert to the one true God. 

Balentine was actually advocating for an integrated mission; one where evangelism and social responsibility are not cousins but actually a part of a whole. We need to be pure, holy and set apart but we also need to be the preserving agents of salt and light as well. The question is, "How do we do that effectively and in balance, especially in the secular arena?' 


As I was studying this week, I listened to the two and half hour worship creation of Handel (Messiah). I was reminded of the brilliance of a work whose sole purpose was to tell the story of God becoming a man, being despised by this world yet loving it to death, and triumphantly rising in victory. This work, accomplished in twenty-four days, was a fight to keep God in the world. I'm not sure that is how Handel viewed it in his commissioning but it is a profound and subversive way of doing it. It was and is performed in the public arena. The earthly kings rise at its chorus. 

I wonder, as a soldier of the King, if am I fighting to keep God in the world or just playing with the other religious kids? Is the church that I serve under the condemnation of being a den of thieves or a shining religious pointer? Or is it a beacon of the light of salvation, a constant advancement of God in this world? Is the world a little less impoverished because of my actions and the actions of my church family? Are we waiting for the world to find us or are we taking the fight to the world? Are we encouraging the gospel to go out in those who have a passion for a cleaner earth?  Are we supporting those who want to design and build a better and safer building or car or drug or whatever will bless this world? Are we taking what is Good, what is God, to our world and proclaiming him through our efforts, through our creativity, through our conversations?

Something to think about....

A Spiritual Man

Last week my mother and her husband came for a visit from Florida. It was wonderful having family visit.  I threatened to drive them over the bridge into Washington state so that they could say that they traveled from one corner of the country (Florida) to the other. Given that they had been on a bus and a plane for numerous hours my threat was abated, especially since they had an hour car ride to my house. A very long day...

I always seem to get a unique feeling when I am in the airport - like there is a hidden part of me that comes out - someone I would like to be. I love people. I love meeting new people and developing unique relationships with others. I'm guessing this is why I'm in a Chinese Church and also having the opportunity to teach Korean students at an academic level. It in some way affirms who I want to be - what I want my life to be. 

I love waiting in the connect area and watching loved ones being greeted by family and friends. It reminds me of what the world is supposed to be and again, what I desire to be. I want to be someone who is missed, someone who is longed for, someone special in someone's eyes and I long to be that person for others as well. I am thankful that I have that in many ways already but I desire more. I'm hoping this doesn't sound narcissistic or selfish. My heart is really trying to capture what God has designed for us to all be in His kingdom. 

Last time I wrote I looked at Andrew Murray's carnal (worldly) person and this week I want to examine what I want and desire to be:  a spiritual man. 

The first thing that we must admit to ourselves and to others is that being a spiritual man is a reality - a "this world" possibility. How can we attain to something that in our heart we believe can never happen? Not only is it a defeatist attitude but an unbiblical one as well.  

The second thing that we must do is see the shame and the guilt of not having this type of life that is so readily available to us. We choose sin. 

Andrew Murray writes, "There are those who live in self-pity, admitting that they are living in such a contrary life, and all the while saying, "How sad that I am too feeble for it!  How sad that God gives it to others but has not given it to me!" 

"They should rather say, 'It has been my own unbelief, my own disobedience, that has kept me from giving myself utterly unto God.'" 

A person needs a general conviction of sin in order to receive the wonderful gift of salvation. A person needs a second conviction of sin to deal with that particular sin "that besets" him - that sin that he will not let go of in order to be what the Father wants him to be. 

The first sin carries the weight of hell itself, the second sin the residual affects of what that hell might be like. It is knowing what we could be but not having the fortitude or desire to grasp it. The second sin is far more blamable than the first for we do it not out of ignorance but through a willful disobedience to God, trampling upon the blood of Christ as if it were of no effect. 

Becoming a spiritual person will never be fully attained until we recognize this issue in our life and humbly fall at the feet of our merciful Father and ask Him for release. A child will always clutch his hands in a defiant way, unwilling to release his prized possession.  But he will willingly let it go when he sees something else he desires. May the spiritual man be our desire and may we let go of that which is so tightly clenched. 

Murray continues, "If any man will come and say, 'I have struggled, I have prayed, I have wept, and it has not helped me' then you must do one other thing. You must see that the living Christ is God's provision for your holy spiritual life."

"You must believe that the living Christ who accepted you once at conversion, in his wonderful love is now waiting to say to you that you may become a spiritual man, entirely given up to God."

"If you will believe that, your fear will vanish, and you will say, 'It can be done; if Christ will accept and take charge, it shall be done.'" 

Third, you must tear out the root. It does one no good to eliminate the symptoms when the disease is still present. In the end you will die thinking that you are well.  

You beg and plead with God to take away the sickening fruit but you are unwilling to let him dig down deep and extract the very thing that gives it life and nourishment. You don't want to be free. You want to be a hybrid - a mixture of both. 

A painter will not paint a masterpiece on a canvass that he does not own and where others will do with it what they like. 

In the same way, Jesus will not give himself wholeheartedly to a person who will not be His and who will do as they please with their own life.  

We must humbly submit ourselves to the Master Gardner, to not only be pruned but to have the parasitic vines disentangled at there roots so that what is left will be the beginnings of a spiritual man. 

Do you want to be a spiritual person, one who in every aspect is led by the Holy Spirit of God, experiencing what it means to be "perfect" and "holy"? Then humbly agree that it is possible and humbly go to the one who, if allowed, will make you into that person.