I always seem to get a unique feeling when I am in the airport - like there is a hidden part of me that comes out - someone I would like to be. I love people. I love meeting new people and developing unique relationships with others. I'm guessing this is why I'm in a Chinese Church and also having the opportunity to teach Korean students at an academic level. It in some way affirms who I want to be - what I want my life to be.
I love waiting in the connect area and watching loved ones being greeted by family and friends. It reminds me of what the world is supposed to be and again, what I desire to be. I want to be someone who is missed, someone who is longed for, someone special in someone's eyes and I long to be that person for others as well. I am thankful that I have that in many ways already but I desire more. I'm hoping this doesn't sound narcissistic or selfish. My heart is really trying to capture what God has designed for us to all be in His kingdom.
Last time I wrote I looked at Andrew Murray's carnal (worldly) person and this week I want to examine what I want and desire to be: a spiritual man.
The first thing that we must admit to ourselves and to others is that being a spiritual man is a reality - a "this world" possibility. How can we attain to something that in our heart we believe can never happen? Not only is it a defeatist attitude but an unbiblical one as well.
The second thing that we must do is see the shame and the guilt of not having this type of life that is so readily available to us. We choose sin.
Andrew Murray writes, "There are those who live in self-pity, admitting that they are living in such a contrary life, and all the while saying, "How sad that I am too feeble for it! How sad that God gives it to others but has not given it to me!"
"They should rather say, 'It has been my own unbelief, my own disobedience, that has kept me from giving myself utterly unto God.'"
A person needs a general conviction of sin in order to receive the wonderful gift of salvation. A person needs a second conviction of sin to deal with that particular sin "that besets" him - that sin that he will not let go of in order to be what the Father wants him to be.
The first sin carries the weight of hell itself, the second sin the residual affects of what that hell might be like. It is knowing what we could be but not having the fortitude or desire to grasp it. The second sin is far more blamable than the first for we do it not out of ignorance but through a willful disobedience to God, trampling upon the blood of Christ as if it were of no effect.
Becoming a spiritual person will never be fully attained until we recognize this issue in our life and humbly fall at the feet of our merciful Father and ask Him for release. A child will always clutch his hands in a defiant way, unwilling to release his prized possession. But he will willingly let it go when he sees something else he desires. May the spiritual man be our desire and may we let go of that which is so tightly clenched.
Murray continues, "If any man will come and say, 'I have struggled, I have prayed, I have wept, and it has not helped me' then you must do one other thing. You must see that the living Christ is God's provision for your holy spiritual life."
"You must believe that the living Christ who accepted you once at conversion, in his wonderful love is now waiting to say to you that you may become a spiritual man, entirely given up to God."
"If you will believe that, your fear will vanish, and you will say, 'It can be done; if Christ will accept and take charge, it shall be done.'"
Third, you must tear out the root. It does one no good to eliminate the symptoms when the disease is still present. In the end you will die thinking that you are well.
You beg and plead with God to take away the sickening fruit but you are unwilling to let him dig down deep and extract the very thing that gives it life and nourishment. You don't want to be free. You want to be a hybrid - a mixture of both.
A painter will not paint a masterpiece on a canvass that he does not own and where others will do with it what they like. In the same way, Jesus will not give himself wholeheartedly to a person who will not be His and who will do as they please with their own life.
We must humbly submit ourselves to the Master Gardner, to not only be pruned but to have the parasitic vines disentangled at there roots so that what is left will be the beginnings of a spiritual man.
Do you want to be a spiritual person, one who in every aspect is led by the Holy Spirit of God, experiencing what it means to be "perfect" and "holy"? Then humbly agree that it is possible and humbly go to the one who, if allowed, will make you into that person.
